


Fine

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23940196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: It felt equal to there being a big gaping wound in her chest where her heart used to be.Ellie was fine. She was fine.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me 🤷🏻♀️

She stood frozen in spot on the sidewalk, eyes trained on two figures across the street and her heart beating rapidly in her chest while her stomach twisted almost painfully. 

It not only mentally hurt her to watch but physically too yet no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t look away. Her hands started to shake. Ellie swallowed the lump rising in her throat and clutched at the strap of her bag with one hand and the book in her arms with the other. Her eyes welled up with tears that fell in seconds as she saw him smile. His smile turned into a full out laugh as he leaned over to press a soft kiss to the dark haired girl's lips. 

Ellie felt someone knock into her shoulder passing by, but she still couldn’t move. It was as if she was hypnotized to watch the heart wrenching scene in front of her—like someone writing her life needed a good old laugh at her expense. She brought a shaky hand to cover her mouth, smothering any noise that tried to escape when he pulled her chair closer to better deepen the kiss. 

It felt equal to there being a big gaping wound in her chest where her heart used to be.

Ellie was fine. She was  _ fine _ .

* * *

She looked back at her reflection in the mirror, eyes trained on her naked body still wet from the shower. Ellie brought up a hand to her ribs that she could clearly see. Her already thin body even more so now. 

Ellie was  _ fine _ though.

* * *

“Bishop.”

Blinking, she looked up at Gibbs feeling her eyes burn from staring at the computer screen so long in the darkened squad room from the late hour. 

“Go home and get some sleep.”

“I need to finish the report-”

“It can wait.” Gibbs’ eyes narrowed into a stern expression. “That’s an order Bishop. Go home, eat something then sleep.”

She felt the normal ache in her stomach at the idea of eating. There was nothing in her to fight him in the end. Ellie packed up her stuff and went home. Her eyes landed on her fridge she knew was empty- sighing she continued onto her bedroom.

Ellie was  _ fine _ .

* * *

Blood dripped onto the white counter from her hand, Ellie blinked staring at it. None of the pain registered. She set the knife down beside the now ruined vegetables she was cutting that she didn’t want in the first place, putting her bloody hand under the water. Ellie squinted at the gash- stitches, she needed stitches. Instead, she grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and covered it up. There was no need to trouble anyone, it would heal eventually. Standing from her sitting position, she gripped the counter feeling her head spin. 

Ellie was  _ fine _ .

* * *

“Eleanor honey, are you sure you’re not working too much?”

“I promise I’m not mom.”

“Those bags under your eyes say a different story.”

“My neighbors are babysitting for the next few days so I haven’t slept much, that’s all.”

Ellie was  _ fine _ .

* * *

The smell of cigarette smoke filled her senses as she was pressed against the bed making her feel nauseous, but she didn’t tell the man shoving her dress up to stop, didn’t tell him no when he covered her body with his, leaning over to kiss her while sliding her panties down her legs. Ellie’s mind was blank, her body moving on autopilot and from experience as she kissed him back despite the curl of disgust in her stomach, her hands undoing his pants to shove them down.

“You ready darlin’?” He asked in a low gruff voice next to her ear.

Ellie didn’t say a word, not even the  _ no _ that was being shouted in her head sounding suspiciously like  _ his _ voice. 

She heard the condom being torn open, felt his hands spreading her legs wider, the bed creaking as he shifted closer, the feeling of him entering her in one motion not caring if he possibly hurt her or not as he right away moved. Ellie’s sick feeling grew the longer it went on, her mind drifting blocking out most of his groans and grunts- no noises escaped her own lips, feeling no pleasure from his actions- just like every other guy she tried to be with in the last few months. Yet she still continued to meet men at the bars and go home with them, not caring if it was risky and she would be getting nothing out of it. 

One time she wouldn’t be wishing it was  _ him _ , there had to be at least once—it never came.

She didn’t bother sticking around when he dropped down beside her panting. Ellie slipped on her panties, fixed her dress, and walked out without a word. When getting home, she did what she always did- took a hot shower to scrub her skin and sit on the shower floor until the water turned cold, pouring down on her red and irritated skin. 

Ellie was  _ fine. _

* * *

It was seeing him again that did it.

There was no one with him when she spotted him across the bar. He sat on the stool, looking unsteady with what was probably the one of many beers in front of him. Ellie debated ignoring him or leaving- until he caught sight of her.

Ellie knew he was drunk, knew she shouldn’t have taken advantage of it, but she craved for him again so much it  _ hurt _ . 

His hands roamed her body only moments after he saw her, they stumbled into the bars only bathroom, not breaking apart from their kiss as he locked the door with only a slight fumble. There was nothing gentle about it. Not as her hands worked at his belt and he tore her panties off with a satisfying rip that sounded loud in the bathroom where only their heavy breathing could be heard, not as he shoved her around to face the mirror and pressed her down onto the counter, not as his hands yanked her dress up with force before swiftly entering her much like the other men did, but this time it felt _so good_. 

There was no sick feeling in her stomach, all she could feel was full on  pleasure that she hadn’t felt in so long. 

Ellie’s hands gripped the edge of the counter for leverage as he took her at a hard and fast pace, sounds slipping out of her mouth that only he seemed to produce. 

There were no words when it was over. 

His eyes that when they started were clouded from the alcohol he consumed were clear except from the lust as he looked her over. Ellie was still gripping the counter for support of her shaky legs, dress falling down slightly but not enough to cover her ass that was still tinged red from his rough hands. He gave her one last satisfying look over and a smirk before leaving the bathroom.

She blinked, staring at her reflection. Would have thought she dreamed it all if not for the evidence of their actions leaving a mess between her legs.

That empty feeling in her chest came back full force the second she got home and washed him off her.

Ellie was  _ fine _ .

* * *

  
  
  


Ellie  _ wasn’t _ fine.

  
  


* * *

Nick stared at the words with glossy empty eyes. 

He dropped to his knees, right there in the grass and mud left from the rain only hours before. He lifted his shaking hand to trace over them.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

In the end they were going to drift back to each other. In the end, they would have their cheesy happily ever after.

A hollow sounding laugh left him at those thoughts. That would be impossible now, and Ellie made sure of it. Permanently. 

Nick took a swing of his bottle, the alcohol burning its way down. He stood, feeling the anger build the longer he looked at the words mocking him. Without thinking about it, he stepped back and threw it with force, a yell leaving him as he did. Nick watched the bottle shatter, fitting perfectly how he felt. 

“Fuck you.” He mumbled. To himself or her, he didn’t know. 

Nick took one last look at the stone before walking away, whatever pieces of his heart that remained being left behind with it.

_ Eleanor Raye Bishop _

_ 1984 - 2020 _

Rain started pouring down once more before he even exited the graveyard.

Nick looked up, letting the drops fall upon his face. 

_ I’ll see you soon, Ellie.  _ He thought to himself with a faint smile.  _ We waited long enough, don’t you think? _

He continued on his way.

Nick was  _ fine _ .

He was fine..because he was on his way to her.


End file.
